I was going to call you a tool.
Then I remembered something.
Tools are actually useful.
So let's try again.
You're not the sharpest tool in the box.
You're the safety warning printed on it.
Every time you make a decision,
common sense files a missing-person report.
You somehow turn simple instructions
into a full-scale emergency.
I'm honestly impressed.
Not because you succeed.
But because you fail with so much confidence.
At this point, even your excuses need adult supervision. 😂
